Strange Bedfellows 9

"Hi, I'm Steve McQueen, and I served in the Marine Corps from 1947 through 1950..."

"And I'm Jackie Gleason, 4-F."

"No matter if you've served honorably in the armed services..."

"Or were too portly to serve..."

"It's important to remember that blindly following morons doesn't make you a patriot."

"Especially if the President is A BUM!"

"And whether in-person or over mass media, there's no excuse for bullying."

"Especially if the President is A BLABBERMOUTH!"

"So remember--"

"A BLABBERMOUTH!"

"So--"

"BLABBERMOUTH!"

Strange Bedfellows 7

"Fuck that, Angela. Ya didn't escape The Blitz, and bury two husbands to be told no! Ya walk down to the Walter Kerr Theater and tell those bastards that ya are Madame Armfeldt!"

"I don't know, Bea. I think they'll give me every consideration. After all, I've a long Broadway track record."

"Yeah, but ya spent a dozen years on TV. Theater people have the memory of a flea. Ya gotta fight for that role."

"Perhaps I'll drop a line to Zeta-Jones. She just signed on, and I'm sure she'd recommend me."

"I'll talk to Catherine."

"Please don't. After all, it's not up to her. It's up to the director."

"You're right. I'll lean on the director." 

"Oh, dear. Please don't do anything untoward."

"I drove a truck in the Marine Corps, Angela. I think I know how to lean on someone."

"Oh, my...."

"Do you know what fragging is?"

"No."

"Don't worry. This will never come back to you."

"Bea, please don't--"

"Message received."

"No, no. I'm saying, Don't."

"Duly noted. Consider yourself blameless.

"Oh, my...."

Strange Bedfellows 6

"How is this, Andy? Big smile...."

"Hmmm...? Oh, yeah, greaaaaat."

"Now this...mouth opened.... Still smiling!"

"Uh...perfect, Grace."

"Now I cock my head back.... I laugh loud!"

"Mmmm hmmm....."

"And now I-- What is this? Andy! You do not photo me at all!"

"What? No. That hobo has one leg.... Isn't he amaaaazing?"

"Why did I wear my biggest hat if you are just going to photo a one-legged hobo?"

"Oh, yeaaaaaah.... Great idea, Grace. Put your hat on the hobo..."

Strange Bedfellows 5

"The only thing is, she won't go out with me alone, you know...?"

"No..."

"No, what?"

"No." 

"No what, Corey? Who the fuck asked you anything? I didn't even ask you anything. At least hear what I have to say...."

"All right. What?"

"Okay, what.... She don't want to go out with a child star alone. She's prejudiced against child stars. Do you believe that? In this day and age? What the fuck is the world coming to? I can't believe this...prejudiced against child--a Jew broad--prejudiced against child stars. Anyway.... She won't go out with me alone unless her girlfriend comes with her. So I figured you could come along and go out with her girlfriend."

"See? I knew it! I knew it. I knew it. I knew it." 

"You knew what, Corey? See what? What the fuck is wrong with that?" 

"When is this?"

"Tomorrow night."

"I can't tomorrow night. I gotta meet Michael Jackson."

"You could meet M.J. You could fucking come early and then still go."

"Corey... Corey.... Why do you always do this to me?"

"Don't give me that fucking "Corey" shit. What the fuck I asked you for, Corey? I asked you for a favor. I do a lot of fucking favors for you, don't I? I'm trying to bang this fucking broad! You wanna help me out?"

Strange Bedfellows 4

"Okay, now you seem like someone looking to meet a great guy."

"She don't wanna meet me, John."

"Sly, she came to this mixer for a reason."

"She don't wanna meet me. I can tell."

"Sly, please.... Now, you think my friend is good looking, don't you?"

"C'mon, John. She ain't int'rested."

"You're single. My friend's single.... You like movies? Boxing movies?"

"No girl likes boxin' movies."

"This girl might."

"No girl does. I tol' ya I didn't wanna come tonight. Why'd ya make me?"

Strange Bedfellows 3

"Haha! No, Woody doesn't wanna dance."

"I don't dance."

"I'm the dancer."

"Michael's the dancer."

"You could learn if I taught you."

"No, no... I have the coordination of a toddler with 
polio."

"Anyway, Happy Birthday, Bianca!"

"Yes, Happy Birthday. You know... if you'd like, I can convert that to your Hebrew birthday."

"She doesn't care about that, Woody."

"You think I do...?"

Strange Bedfellows 2

"Where were you?"

"Do you know what time it is?"

"It's late."

"Did you have fun...?"

"Bill was worried."

"I wasn't worried, Steve. I was concerned."

"Very concerned."

"We're glad you're home."

"We missed you."

"We so did." 

"Did you remember to pick up blank CD-RW discs?"

"CD-Rs are okay too."

"I guess...."

"They're fine, Steve. Would you like some tea?"

"Look.... We're into you."

"We both are."

"We're both really into you...."

Strange Bedfellows 1

"Got this here flashlight, guv'ment issue for all Federal agents. I'm a Federal agent, but that's real hush-hush like. I shouldn't even talk about it. And this here glove... guv'ment issue too. I lost the other glove somewhere. You want a cigarillo, Glen...? No? Doctor Pepper...? I got soda. All kinds. What time this here weddin' start anyways?"